Function: Mental Health Day (Pilot)
The pilot for our web series "Function." Full series out 2025!
Mary Fiala
she/her | comedian and writer | chicago
staff writer at the Chicago Genius Herald, producer of Gay For Pay: A Queer Variety Hour
My Latest Work
Once Again, Way More Air Than Water Expected At The Air And Water Show
NORTH AVE. BEACH – Chicago’s manliest festival is fast approaching, and fans are counting down the hours until they can watch the spectacular performance over beautiful Lake Michigan. Die-hard Air and Water heads however, are noticing a troubling pattern emerging. It looks like this year, as always, is going to feature a lot more air than water.
Chicago Announces Plans to Somehow Turn Eclipse Into a Drinking Holiday
CHICAGO — In a hard-drinking city like Chicago, every holiday inspires its residents to drink like the alcohol is about to expire. As the solar eclipse passes over the country, Chicagoans have announced plans to somehow make the rare astronomical event into an excuse to get really, really drunk.
City Expands St. Paddy’s Dye To All of Lake Michigan
LAKESHORE – Chicago’s foremost Drinking Holiday is upon us, and the city is one-upping the classic river dyeing to a grand scale. Tourists and locals alike have long marveled at the seemingly magic transformation of the river into something resembling the Emerald Isle, but they expanded this year’s tradition to the entirety of Lake Michigan.
“Everyone expects the river to be dyed green, it’s become old hat,” Martha Larchmont, 48, City Holiday Ambassador, told our reporters. “What they could nev
“Everyone expects the river to be dyed green, it’s become old hat,” Martha Larchmont, 48, City Holiday Ambassador, told our reporters. “What they could nev
Woman Misplaces Boyfriend, Accidentally Brings Home Another Man With a Mustache and Chicago Flag Tattoo
AVONDALE – Disaster struck today in this trendy neighborhood, and not because the local bodega was out of Zyn Wintergreen Pouches. Local resident, Amanda Birchnell, 34, accidentally took home a different man from Cermak.
“Look, in my defense,” Birchnell, who is being charged with Circumstantial Kidnapping and Stereotyping, “my boyfriend looks exactly like most of the men in Chicago.”
Seemingly created in bulk in Wicker Park, the Chicago Boyfriend can be spotted at every Music Box premiere or l
“Look, in my defense,” Birchnell, who is being charged with Circumstantial Kidnapping and Stereotyping, “my boyfriend looks exactly like most of the men in Chicago.”
Seemingly created in bulk in Wicker Park, the Chicago Boyfriend can be spotted at every Music Box premiere or l
Foxtrot and Dom’s Merge, but Aren’t Renaming to “Domfox”, Furry Chicagoans Outraged
CHICAGO – Foxtrot Market and Dom’s Kitchen & Market have announced plans for combining their two brands into one entity. The Chicago furry community however, is left wanting more, as they so often are, upon realizing that the new consolidation won’t be dubbed ‘DomFox.”
When this joining of posh grocery royalty was announced to the general public, most Chicagoans didn’t bat an eye, because they can’t afford to shop at either Foxtrot or Dom’s anyway. But a select number of opinionated midwest fur
When this joining of posh grocery royalty was announced to the general public, most Chicagoans didn’t bat an eye, because they can’t afford to shop at either Foxtrot or Dom’s anyway. But a select number of opinionated midwest fur
Woman Crosses Her Arms When Delayed Train Finally Arrives To Show She’s Disappointed
IRVING PARK – This past Thursday, longtime Chicago resident Cassidy Madison, 38, was seen standing at the Brown Line platform, shaking her head with disgust and pointedly pointing at her imaginary watch. “It helps to demonstrate with the trains that they’ve let you down. Once I was waiting 47 minutes for a train, and it felt good to just cross my arms and give them a scowl.” Madison relayed to our team. “Sometimes, when I’m really fed up I tap my foot angrily. While it doesn’t make the train arr
How Come Everyone Wants to Talk About The Air and Water Show but Not My One Man Show At The Annoyance?
Sure, planes are pretty cool. Of course, boats can take you from place to place on water, which is nice and all. But why is everyone in Chicago just talking about those dumb machines, and not about my groundbreaking new one man show at The Annoyance. It’s running every 3rd Tuesday night at 11pm, and tickets are only $25 a pop.
It’s like, okay right, we can marvel in these engineering wonders. It’s nice that we’ve been able to build things to scoff at God's flaws in the human body. But my show a
It’s like, okay right, we can marvel in these engineering wonders. It’s nice that we’ve been able to build things to scoff at God's flaws in the human body. But my show a
Woman Having Good Day Until Realizing There’s a Cubs Game
LAKEVIEW –- For local woman, Estella Marco, 41, the day started off like any other Chicago summer morning. A cool 87 degrees with 99% humidity, Estella stepped over the rat droppings in her alleyway and took a deep breath of that fresh smoke filled air, her heart filled with hopes of a calm and peaceful Thursday.
“It was a morning like any other,” Marco detailed to our team of reporters. “At first, I didn’t think anything of the High Noon cans littering the sidewalk. Then I saw one man in a Cub
“It was a morning like any other,” Marco detailed to our team of reporters. “At first, I didn’t think anything of the High Noon cans littering the sidewalk. Then I saw one man in a Cub
Logan Square Attempts to Top Last Years “Horny” Farmers Market by Rebranding as “Sex Central”
LOGAN SQUARE – Last summer, Logan Square’s historic farmers market was granted the spotlight when they became infamous as “The Horny Farmer’s Market.” In order to raise the bar this upcoming season, they’re going full um, balls-to-the-wall, and just calling themselves “Sex Central.” Which is the shortened version of the initial rebrand, “Nonstop Local Suck and F*ck Fest.”
“We had some fun with leaning into our flirty reputation,” Briar Carsen, 32, Marketing Manager of the LSQFM, revealed to our
“We had some fun with leaning into our flirty reputation,” Briar Carsen, 32, Marketing Manager of the LSQFM, revealed to our